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December 5th, 2009
10:51 am - Boys, boys, boys!
Back when I was younger, and when my friends asked me who was my ideal guy, I'd give them two answers: NICK CARTER or LEONARDO DICAPRIO.
It was really simple for me back then. Just a clean-cut guy whose hair CANNOT be longer than mine. And I had a thing for blondies with baby blue eyes... the All-American boy-next-door sort.
So if you were to show me a picture of the Backstreet Boys (back when I was in primary school), I'd pick Nick over his bandmates without a second of hesitation.
BUT NOW..... to hell with Nick and his blonde, short hair. Either Kevin or AJ gets my vote for being the hottest in the group now. HAHAHAHA! Why the sudden change in interest? Nick looks too "safe", i suppose. I like men who're edgy... who're not afraid to be different. Who don't give two cents about what others think about them. So who cares if their hairstyles make them look like women? And so what if they've got tattoos? All those traits enhances sex appeal ;)
I neva thought I would one day find a German dude hot.
Sorry, but I've always had an issue with Germany since I picked up History in 2001. My hatred for the German got even stronger when I did research on a project for Anne Frank. Reading about how Hitler was such a bastard and how 6 million innocent Jews and gypsies got gased to death... yeah, I really hated them. My fellow soccer kakis should know this more than anyone else; whenever the World Cup or Euro Cup is on, I'd cheer exceptionally loudly when a goal is scored against Michael Ballack's team. In 2002 when Germany lost the World Cup finals to Brazil, my squeals of joy could be heard by my neighbour UPSTAIRS.
SO WHY AM I ALL OVER TOM & BILL KAULITZ NOW???
You know what's worse than falling for "a German dude"?
It's falling for TWO German dudes... and both of them are twins! WTF! I need a blue letter to PSY, I think.
One has outrageous hair and killer vocals. The other owns a head of dreadlocks and plays the guitar like it's Heaven's gift to him for being so near to perfection. OMFG!!! Both of them use more eye-liner than I do, have longer hair than me, and if I were to stand beside them, I give new definitions to the words "short" and "fat". YES, they're both way off skinny and sky-high tall! We're talking 185m in height! HOLYYYYYYY.
If only I could be with Tom and scandal with Bill on the sidelines.
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I'll be the biggest slut known to Germany... and Tokio Hotel :P
OMG, HOW CAN TWO FEMALE-LIKE MEN STILL LOOK SO HOT AND OOZ SEX APPEAL? This is not right!!
"There's no real love in you... there's no real love in you... why do I keep loving you.."
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/silly.gif) weird
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November 29th, 2009
10:29 pm - It's not raining, the sky's just crying
 If I could just see you,
everything will be alright.
If I’d see you
this darkness will turn to light. And I will walk on water.
And you will catch me if I fall.
And I will get lost into your eyes.
And everything will be alright.
I know everything is alright.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/sad.gif) crushed
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November 20th, 2009
12:08 am - Freshening up the stale
 This time, it shall not be a half-hearted affair.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/surprised.gif) awake
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November 1st, 2009
01:26 am - Happy Halloween, suckers
 I learnt today that even the tiniest girl-next-door can have the spiteful tongue of a serpent. Needless to say, the pudgy one owns a mouth overflowing with fatal venom. As for the oldie, may you find peace. SLEEP TIGHT. And pray my new friends don't appear in your dreams anytime soon (there are 3 of them, one for each of you!).
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/angry.gif) bitchy
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October 30th, 2009
October 27th, 2009
12:44 pm - Can you get back what's lost?
Today is probably one of the few days that I don't feel the need for anyone's company. Parents are at work, sis is at school and I'm all alone in this house. One of those rare moments, you know, whereby you just wanna shut the rest of the world out and be by yourself. I haven't been doing that alot this year, sad to say.
I'm on my fifth and final day of Medical Leave. Yes, as some of you might have already known, I've been diagnosed with Sinusitis. Had three rounds of spiked fever and although I've been on antibiotics for more than a week now, I'm still coughing out phelgm with a colour that's not too far off from the precious stone, Jade. Bloody bitch of a throat. I haven't been training for two weeks now - gonna have to pump like a lunatic after I'm fully recovered.
So I was sitting at Starbucks with Sammie yesterday (one of the few times I'll ever go to Starbucks) and because both of us had newly purchased books from Borders in our bags, we begun reading. Sammie stopped after two chapters and did her usual "people-watch". She was the one that noticed the group of Singapore Idol finalists sitting behind us. ROFL! I managed to complete six chapters of Cecelia Ahern's "P.S. I love you". This novel, along with the movie I recently watched - My sister's keeper, kept me thinking long and hard while I was on the bus back home.
Does a love that strong still exist?
Well, I can't really say for sure, but a mother's love for her children could be that withstanding. Parents always say that they'd do whatever it takes to make their children happy. I don't doubt my folks' ability to put a smile on my face, but many a time, those words are just... mere words. I'm not blaming them for the current life that I'm living. I am thankful. Very. Then again, the family portrait isn't as picture-perfect as it used to be. I can see myself holding a cloth dipped in thinner to rub off the smile I had on my face when that photo was taken and replacing it with one that's overturned. Maybe even add in a few tears at the side of my eyes. That's gonna be tough though; I've lost touch with my artsy-fartsy side eversince I made the decision to enter the world of Health/Medical Science when I was 17. I cannot blame my parents... can't bare to. And it's not their fault that things have turned out this way. Parenting isn't a fun game. Now you all know why I'm reluctant to have kids. So STOP bugging me about being "unable to complete a woman's duty" already.
Now what the fuck is "Everlasting Love"?! The kind that binds a man and a woman together until death does them apart? Oh please, spare me the torture of having to listen to how "Love is blind" or "Love knows no boundaries" or "Love conquers all". I don't understand any of those phrases, really.
If you fall in love with someone who's heavily flawed, Love wasn't blind. Love made you blind. Geddit?
Knows no boundaries? *sigh* Are you guys for real?! So you'd really kill someone for the person you love? I see.... Shall visit you in Hougang Chalet sometime soon. Obvious case of delirium.
Lastly, WHAT exactly does Love conquer? Hmm?
So I'm not committed to anyone at the moment. Not committed, but having fun. Some might find this idea repulsive and indecent. I don't care anymore cause I don't see a need to fully give myself to one person, be it a guy or girl. It's painful to be in love, because Love kills.
Many a time, I see fellow women doing the stupidest of things because they've fallen out of love - self-mutilate, attempting to jump out of their window, crash dieting, brawling their eyes out, hunger strike, drinking like there's no tomorrow etc. I have to admit, I was one of those dumb chickens who resorted to such silliness. *places paperbag over head* Falling in love... FOR WHAT?! How many times does a person have to FALL OUT OF LOVE before finding The One? It's an awfully painful process of having to get back on your own two feet after falling, do you know that?
So what if a person has tonnes of ex-boyfriends/girlfriends? I find these people to be the biggest losers; always falling for the wrong person and having to start searching from scratch. Sad to say, I'm one of them. Six guys and a girl. Loser, Kim. LOSERRRRR.
Like what the subtitle says; Can you get back what's lost?
I don't know the answer because I can't foresee the future. But if the day comes whereby I do decide to remain with one person, then good. Otherwise, life goes on and regardless of how I choose to live it or how others are against me living it this way, I HAVE MY REASONS FOR DOING SO. Money and work matters most at this point of time. A full-time degree course overseas ain't cheap boy!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/okay.gif) blah
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October 14th, 2009
01:29 pm - Sod off.
I've had enough of all the trouble you've caused.
This is the last time ever that I'll cover your flat ass.
The next time you choose to interfere with my work, ask yourself this: "Have you completed YOUR OWN assignments"!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/devious.gif) devious
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October 1st, 2009
05:27 am - Desperate times call for desperate TAPING!
Remember my post about me coming home after my draggy night shift and realising that one of my vodka bottles was only 4/5 full?
Today I was staring at my booze collection from far and noticed that that particular bottle is now only 3/4 filled!
Rage seethed through my veins and I had the urge to walk into that bugger's room to throttle her until her teeth rattled. The booze belongs to me; they're MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!!! If anyone's gonna get the first sip of it, it should be me because it's MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE!!!!!!
When I'm angry, this is what happens
A HAND-WRITTEN NOTE ON A RED PIECE OF PAPER
(Red = Danger!)
SEALING OF THE MURDERED BOTTLE D.I.Y STYLE
Should have thought about this gimmick earlier! Then my absolute wouldn't be 1/4 empty!
Roar! Fuck! Cock! Cheeseballs!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/working.gif) accomplished
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September 24th, 2009
12:10 am - You had a "bad day"?
SYLTRA LEE was the first of 13 Idol hopefuls to get voted out of the show.
One word: R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S.
So much for voting for "talent". At the rate Singaporean FEMALES are voting, our Idols will continue to carry the XY chromosome. Am I right or am I right?! Three ladies in the bottom three! First to get booted out is the lead singer of local band, Aurigami!
Maybe not many of you have heard Syltra sing "Live" before, but I have been fortunate enough to hear her sing years before she joined the show. All I can say is that she is awesomely GOOD. Tell me, how many Asian girls (she was only 15-16 back then) can pull off the song "Zombie" by The Cranberries? That girl even owned "Chasing Cars" by Snow Petrol!
If an idol of the softer sex doesn't emerge this year, I am convinced that winning Singapore Idol is simple.
Just kill the female crowd with a smile; a recording deal comes along with their deaths.
Watching Syltra leave the show left me fuming at the edge of the sofa. Dad was laughing his ass off because when Gurmit announced that Farhan wasn't in the same group as Syltra, I was ecstatic! He sounded awful during the piano show, and his performance tonight..
well, what I say wouldn't be important anyway. He has HUNDREDS of female fans willing to spend $$ to keep him on the show and expose him to more of Ken's sarcasm. Good way to spend their pocket money, I'd say. So yes, I was jumping with glee when he was in a different group from Syltra. But alas, his group was safe.
Cheebye! Lanjiao!
Was already moody and cursing beneath my breath when Syltra was singing halfway and her performance got cut off for the news. Then came about the tragic story of a Japanese girl, Junko Furuta.
She passed away in 1989, when she was only 16....
AFTER 44 DAYS OF TORTURE!!
It's been 20 years since her gruesome death but the people of her hometown still remember her because she went through the unimaginable. A month and a half of abuse... I would've killed myself had I been in her position. I'd rather die in my own hands than that of four perverse Japanese teenage boys.
Furuta was on her way to work when she got abducted by those hooligans. She was than held captive in one of the boys' house (he made her lie to his parents that she was his girlfriend - and they believed him?! Eh?) and here's a short recount of the multiple "stunts" they decided to perform on their victim:
DAY 1: November 22, 1988: Kidnapped
Kept captive in house, and posed as one of boy's girlfriend
Raped (over 400 times in total)
Forced to call her parents and tell them she had run away
Starved and malnutritioned
Fed cockroaches to eat and urine to drink
Forced to masturbate
Forced to strip in front of others
Burned with cigarette lighters
Foreign objects inserted into her vagina/anus
DAY 11: December 1, 1988: Severely beat up countless times
Face held against concrete ground and jumped on
Hands tied to ceiling and body used as a punching bag
Nose filled with so much blood that she can only breath through her mouth
Dumbbells dropped onto her stomach
Vomited when tried to drink water (her stomach couldn't accept it)
Tried to escape and punished by cigarette burning on arms
Flammable liquid poured on her feet and legs, then lit on fire
Bottle inserted into her anus, causing injury
DAY 20: December 10, 1988: Unable to walk properly due to severe leg burns
Beat with bamboo sticks
Fireworks inserted into anus and lit
Hands smashed by weights and fingernails cracked
Beaten with golf club
Cigarettes inserted into vagina
Beaten with iron rods repeatedly
Winter; forced outside to sleep in balcony
Skewers of grilled chicken inserted into her vagina and anus, causing bleeding
DAY 30: Hot wax dripped onto face
Eyelids burned by cigarette lighter
Stabbed with sewing needles in chest area
Left nipple cut and destroyed with pliers
Hot light bulb inserted into her vagina
Heavy bleeding from vagina due to scissors insertion
Unable to urinate properly
Injuries were so severe that it took over an hour for her to crawl downstairs and use the bathroom
Eardrums severely damaged
Extreme reduced brain size
DAY 40: Begged her torturers to "kill her and get it over with"
January 1, 1989: Junko greets the New Years Day alone
Body mutilated
Unable to move from the ground
DAY 44: January 4, 1989: The four boys beat her mutilated body with an iron barbell, using a loss at the game of Mah-jongg as a pretext. She is profusely bleeding from her mouth and nose. They put a candle's flame to her face and eyes.
Then, lighter fluid was poured onto her legs, arms, face and stomach, and then lit on fire. This final torture lasted for a time of two hours.
Junko Furuta died later that day, in pain and alone.
******
Her mother had to undergo psychiatric treatment after learning the cause of her daughter's death. Imagine the kinda impact it had on her.
Wanna know what those fuckers did with her body when they realise she wasn't breathing?
They taped her upper and lower limps, dumped her body into a 55-gallon drum, FILLED IT WITH CEMENT and ditched it in some deserted spot in their neighbourhood. Best part about it is, her corpse wasn't discovered until A YEAR LATER. 365 days, omg!
Oh no, that's not the best part yet. What I'm about to let you know will make you climax... with rage.
Furuta's killers are now FREE MEN. The leader of the pack (the boy whom she posed as his girlfriend for) only served 8 years of imprisonment and is now scott-free. What the fuck?! His parents were even able to sell that house for (I am so not believing this) 50 million yen! Who the hell wants to live there after what happened?! Japanese *sigh*
The boy's parents are idiots lah! They KNEW about the torturing and abusing of Furuta in their residence but DID NOTHING because their son was part of some secret society and they were afraid he'd hurt them.
NICE. Very.
They don't wanna be hurt... and they'd rather see an innocent life wither away. Idiots. Whether or not you guys agree with me, the boy's parents are just as bad as their son. The son's a murderer. The parents are his accomplices.
Here's a sick family for you!
And you thought your day was "bad".
How about that of Syltra (getting ousted in the first round of Idol) and Junko Furuta (being abused to death)?
P/S: If any of you start weeping after reading about Furuta, IT AIN'T MY FAULT!
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/curious.gif) indescribable
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September 15th, 2009
10:19 pm - Sour grapes are so right for you
There's no need to fume over it.
In 5 years' time, I'd be in Scotland; getting my degree and earning my salary in POUND STERLING.
You, on the other hand, will be....
Gee, where will you be?
DEAD
DEAD
DEAD
DEAD
DEAD
DEAD
DEAD
DEAD
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/sick.gif) nauseated
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12:43 am - ROARRRR!!!
You know what's the one thing that pisses me off?
-To come home (post-night shift) and realise that someone opened one of my vodka bottles and drank it WITHOUT asking for MY permission first.
Hello, I own those damned bottles and I have no intention of opening any of them! Now, one of the absolutes is only 4/5 full.
GREAT!
Current Mood: crappy
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September 11th, 2009
12:08 am - Commitment with a capital C
Never really understood the true meaning of commitment until recently when I started going back to gym.
1) I'm training for next year's biathlon
2) I'm training for Standard Chartered Marathon
3) I wanna go back to my usual weight; 46kg (currently 52kg)
Been training like a mad bitch these few couple of weeks. Running, crunches, weights, steps, push-ups, running, crunches, weights, steps, push-ups, running, crunches, weights, steps, push-ups, running, crunches, weights, steps, push-ups, running, crunches....
People who don't go to the gym will NEVER understand. I'm training FOR A REASON. I'm training FOR A GOOD COURSE. I'm training FOR MY OWN PERSONAL ACHIEVEMENTS. Currently, I'm still young, so why not? Cos if I don't do it now, then when? And if I don't do it at all, then who will? Makes sense? We always talk about wanting to live our lives to the fullest - that's what I'm doing now. But sadly, not everyone plan to live their lives this way while they still have what it takes. And thus, comes along "conflict of interests".
Professional athletes train like lunatics. They sacrifice their social life, just so they can achieve that slightest bit of improvement in their performance. They give up everything; movie dates, clubbing, dinners and other social events. Why? Because they are 100% committed to doing well in what they train for.
I'm not a pro-athlete. I'm a struggling one. Still, I am training my butt off for (not only one, but) three reasons. True, winning the olympics is not part of my agenda, but the hunger to succeed is just as strong. The yearning of being able to lie in bed one night and go, "Yes, I did it!", is still there! My goals may not be as outstanding as the elites, but I'm just as hungry for glory, for success, for achievement. And how am I gonna start striving for it all?
COMMITMENT!
I learnt a lesson the hard way today; if you wanna commit to something, commit yourself fully and not get distracted or pressurised by your peers into not doing so.
Busted a gym session with a friend to head to town with other friends (was given an opportunity to save $$, but decided to linger in town and watch $$ dissapear - dumbass). Halfway through, lethargy took it's toll on me. My eyes were already half shut, limps were lifeless, brain was more blocked than ever. Decided against joining them for the evening movie (hello, why pay $8 to sleep in a theatre?!). And you know what?! I got dubbed "pang seh kia", "spoiler" and apparently, I'm not a good enough friend.
All because why? I was feeling tired from training and didn't wanna join them for a movie.
Pang seh kia? What they don't know is, I really pang seh-ed a gym buddy to spend a day in town with them. So I'm not a good friend. Ok, point noted! The next time such an offer comes along, my priority would be training. And if I'm not training that day, it'll be catching up on my sleep. Save dough, save energy. And they wouldn't have to hang out with a lousy friend who pang sehs them. Win-win situation. Ole!
Call me petty, hot-tempered, short-fused and whatever shit lah! Don't bloody give an effing damn anymore since they don't even put into consideration that I gave up training to go out with them. I'm a crap lousy friend, a very badddddddd friend. Beware of me because I will fall asleep on you when you least expect it ;)
If you don't gym, that's your problem. I don't expect you to train with me. Now that I'm exhausted to death from all the crunches (try doing 100 of 'em at one go!), the least you can do is UNDERSTAND why I'm so tired.
I'm not tired from clubbing overnight.
I'm tired because I've been training.
I lack sleep not because I'm out monkeying around.
I lack sleep because I've been training!
And I'm training not for the fun of it, BUT FOR VALID REASONS.
Which part of "I've been training" don't these people understand?!!!!!!!!!!
So cut me some slack. If you're not supportive of what I do, fine. Don't find fault with what I do and use it against me. It hurts. Especially when I'm training EVERYDAY (irregardless of whether or not I'm working), the last thing I need is to be called a wet blanket because I wasn't feeling up to watching a goddamned movie called Gamer.
You think I'm coming up with excuses to avoid watching the movie, try doing what I've been doing for the past 3 weeks:
AM shift ~ gym session from 4 - 5.30pm after work (will reach home at 7pm)
PM shift ~ gym session from 10 - 12pm before work (meaning, I gotta wake up at 8.30)
ND shift ~ gym session from 7 - 8pm (great way to start a 10hr shift eh?)
Off days/Rest days ~ swim 15 laps or jog 3km
Try doing it all and tell me you won't experience lethargy at any point of time. TRY!
Current Mood: irritated
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September 3rd, 2009
12:44 am - Been there, came back
So my short getaway to Retail Paradise has come to an abrupt end. While I was at the airport awaiting to board the plane back to $ingapore, I was cussing for a full 45 minutes because the flight got delayed. At that point of time, I just wanted to get home FAST. I wanted to head for the showers, hop into bed and slowly doze off as I dream about making sweet love to Spongebob Squarepants.
I love Bangkok, I really do, but home is home.
Can't believe it's my fifth time jetting over to the capital of Thailand and I'm still not sick of that place. Contrary to what many people think, I'm constantly drawn to Bangkok not for the numerous shopping areas, but because being there and observing how the locals go about their daily routines makes me feel lucky. I begin to appreciate what I currently own (not something that I do on a regular basis considering recently I've been introduced to an heiress who's so !@#$%^&* loaded, she donated her authentic Gucci bag to the Salvation Army because the mats & minahs are strutting around town with imitation Guccis and she doesn't wanna be classified as one of them).
So as I was saying, this trip was more of a reality-check than a holiday. Sure, Pegs and I shopped as if we were paid millions to do so. But I'm sure she noticed how quiet I get whenever we hopped onto a tuk-tuk or taxi - she probably thinks I'm some moody bitch experiencing PMS. Hahahaha! Nah, Pegs ain't the type who put labels on others. (Babe, if you're reading this, I love shopping with you and I had ALOT of fun :) Thanks for the great company!) While riding through the streets of Bangkok, I see handicapped people sitting by the roads begging for coins. I see children standing by their parents' stalls and helping out with the small family business (and inhaling tonnes of carbon monoxide which could ultimately lead to mental retardation). I walk pass residences and see mothers doing the laundry by hand. Houses there are run-down; with rusty gates, broken windows, moss growing on the white-washed walls... God knows if they even have proper toilet facilities. A mother and her three kids were bathing in the canal beside the hotel that Pegs and I were residing in. A boy was sitting at the bottom of an overhead bridge with a puppy - begging for money (when he's supposed to be out playing or going to pre-school).
I get really silent when I come across such sights because I don't get that at all back home. I am guilty of having a relatively comfortable life and yet, yearn for an even better one. Hey, I don't deny that I'm materialistic; which is why I needed this trip so badly. Firstly, to get away from $ingapore. Secondly, to shop. Thirdly, to knock sense into my thick skull.
For 21 years, I have had nothing but the best life my parents can afford to provide me with. My childhood was truly a beautiful one; I remember back in 1991, I fell in love with this Barbie doll Mansion. I woke up On Christmas morning to find a huge-ass parcel at the foot of my bed and true enough, it was the 4-storey Barbie Deluxe Mansion... even though I was only a 3 year old, Dad and Mum were already out to make my life a near perfect one. My 1st birthday was a grand affair - I was the star of the night with a gigantic cake, multiple gifts, huge guestlist and I was the apple of my parents' eyes (that is, until little sis came along. Bleah!). I was 5 when my family shifted from Yishun to Pasir Ris. While Dad was browsing through some catalogues before we shifted, he asked me what was my favourite colour; I told him it's Pink. Next thing I know, he drove me to the new house and carried me to my soon-to-be-complete new room - it was a pink wonderland. Pink walls, pink bed-stands, pink closets, pink shelves, pink study table, pink chairs, pink curtains, pink everything! Even the aircon had slight tinges of pink on it! And remember, I was only 5 but Dad still went through so much trouble just to get my room renovated.
Despite being blessed with all these, I do occasionally envy people who own more than I do or own something which I lack. Which, come to think of it, is really unfair to my folks who have slogged really hard to give me everything from a good education to... well, materialistic wants.
Kim, time to be thankful now. Compared to what those kids in Thailand have, you've been living the life of an A-lister. There's no need for more than what you already have. There isn't a need to compare yourself to the rich. Just think about the poor and the lives they lead, the food they eat, the clothes on their backs and the high risk of diseases they're constantly being exposed to... you have it better than they do, way better.
I reached $ingapore at 1am on 2nd September. Cabbed back home, and the moment I stepped into the house, I dropped onto the floor and remained curled up in a foetal position. Clean floors; something you don't see very often in Thailand. A simple, everyday thing
that we take for granted. I'm beginning to not regret signing up for Missionary trips during Foundation. More exposure to the lives of the less fortunate is definately what I need to eliminate all my thoughts of grandiose.
Call me, great hospital! Call me and tell me I've been selected to go over to.... wherever needs help!
Current Mood: guilty
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August 19th, 2009
01:21 pm - I can see a rainbow
Some people say that life sucks because it's a bitch. Some declare their neverending love for life because it's the greatest gift from The One up there. The indecisive ones would say that life is neither good nor bad. The odd balls who always wanna look on the brighter side of things would remark about rosebeds being beautiful, but every rose still has it's thorns.
To me, living and breathing is complex. Yes, the respiratory system ain't as clear-cut as you think it is (I realise I've just digressed).
I've always been a complex person; whether or not it's a gift or a curse, I have long accepted it. With a certain friend, I can be really chatty and outgoing; always hitting the clubs, catching late night movies, going for supper etc. But with another friend, I can become reserved and passive. I don't know. I wouldn't dare say I'm quiet or loud by nature, cos I'm a little bit here and a little bit there. Sort of like, the best of both worlds kinda thing.
You know how sometimes COLOURS can be used to describe a person's character?
RED; full of passion, aggression, vibrancy, courage, energy, lust, love, anger, warning
BLUE; ice-cold, calmness, sadness, liberalism, capitalism
YELLOW; warmth, fun, happiness, cowardice, caution, hope, optimism
Now I'm beginning to think that being an Art student isn't so bad afterall. I can sketch a decent piece once inspiration comes knocking, I've mastered the skill of silk painting (canvas is overrated) and my darling Art teacher has ingrained in me the ability of visualising everyday happenings in colours.
Back to my point; when it comes to colours, I'm definately not a Primary category all thanks to my complexity. I'm not sure whether any of you are gonna agree, but I sure as hell feel that I'm a PURPLE. A brilliant combination of a warm color (red) and a cool one (blue). True enough, I can see quite a number of my traits in these two colours. Purple itself does signify me to quite an extend:
Nobility, friendship, sharing, wisdom, sympathy. And I very much like to include "Royality" and "Imperialism" in too :D
With Friend A, I could appear to be very Red (having said that, I'm gonna start typing in red).
- Never running out of things to say, not afraid to be embarrassed in public, getting pissed-off and sprouting profanities when a random stranger knocks into me and doesn't apologise, willing to try out new things, a lot of physical contact involved, eye-contact when I talk to you, tonnes of giggling, taking ugly photos of ourselves, strutting around with my back straight and (if you're sharp enough to notice) I put a bit more sway in my hips when I walk.
(That's Friend A for you. If you happen to fall into this category, CONGRATS! I'm uber comfortable in your presence!)
This is prolly the picture of me you have in your mind; (unafraid of how others look at me)
With Friend B, I'd be as Blue as the boring sky.
- Awkward moments in between conversations, seldom smiling, more or less looking unapproachable, tendency to hold back what I really wanna say, stuttering when I speak at times, tensing up at a single touch, covering my mouth when I laugh a lady's laugh, controlling my sneezes, doodling if I have a pen and paper at hand, hunching slightly when I walk, very little or absolutely no eye-contact when talking.
(If you're a Friend B, CONGRATS! You wouldn't have to experience me burping in your face!)
And here's what I'd appear to be like with you around; (super stoned, boring & empty)
Last but not least, with Friend C, it's a combination of both the hot and cold *Katy Perry tune goes on*
- Please don't expect me to type out what I've already typed for both Friend A and Friend B. Just scroll back up and read it ok? And to honour this (small) group of you, I shall highlight this column in purple now.
(Dearest Friend C, CONGRATS! You've seen both the active and passive sides of me. So basically, there are days when you love me to bits, and days whereby you just can't wait to go home so as to escape my silence and cold stares. If you're still on talking terms with me now, good job! You now know that I'm not fake or prone to moodswings. It's just the way I am, it's just my way of life)
Here's a piece of me to add to the already large mass of images you have of yours truly; (neither too loud nor too quiet. just the right amount of everything ranging from sugar, spice and all things nice)
That's gotta sum it all up :)
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/happy.gif) pleased
Current Music: Zombie - The Cranberries
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August 15th, 2009
12:28 am - Nocturnal cravings
I was watching the video one of my wakeboarding buddies took of me when I was out on the water when I started salivating (no, i wasn't drooling while looking at myself). There was an urgent need for me to head over to Chomp Chomp and chow down my favourite "ah-ball-leng".
So i got changed, pinned my hair up, grabbed my wallet and hastily ran out of the house.
As I walked passed the carpark, I wasn't even thinking on which route to take... all that went through my mind was;
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
So much so that I completely missed the short-cut and was too lazy to walk back 20 steps (to the shorter lane) that I ended taking the longer route instead.
Reached Chomp Chomp, headed over to the dessert stall and ordered the heavenly dou hua ah-ball-leng. The stall-owner smiled slightly and replied, "Xiao mei, jing tian mei you leh. Yao deng dao ming tian cai hui you".
ROARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
Settled for Chin Chow instead... quite good because it's homemade. But the craving was still lingering AND IT STILL IS NOW.
Damned.
No amount of cigarettes can rid me of this deadly food desire. When your luck's down, it's down.
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
AH-BALL-LENG
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/charitycam/goth_girl/hungry.gif) hungry
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August 14th, 2009
01:57 am - The mothafucking J-word
I wonder if I'm making the right decision to quit being nice. Not only do I not benefit from it financially for attempting to be a saint (and pretty darn successful attempts at that), I tend to get bruised by others on quite a regular basis. Be it whether they hurt me knowingly or unknowingly, they NEVER FAIL to hit the bulls-eye located at some part of my human form which I can't bloody see.
People are born to be different. Intellectually, physically, psychologically, socially etc. I can't comprehend why despite the many years of education that they've been through, the youths and young adults of today still subject themselves to the one thing I hate most other than the lacf of responsibility; and that is JUDGEMENT.
I have been judged MY WHOLE LIFE.
Even before the whole "she-gets-drunk-often-and-sleeps-around" saga that ocurred at my 21st birthday party. Ooohh... drama! I would prefer it to involve gun-shots and mass tweezing of pubic hair but alas, at ECP on a Saturday night, the closest thing to a weapon that I could get hold of would be the pink knife used for cutting the cake. How severe an injury would I cause with a piece of plastic?! Oh well, no gun-slinging or knife-wielding, but tonnes of attention-seeking/bitchiness/unwanted vision of somebody's black thong in my face made a chick-flick decent enough to be worthy of an applause. From Satan himself.
Let's not venture off to what the Ex-Best Friend did to me that fateful night at Sunkist Beach Resort. Rather, let's talk about a family figure I never really liked since the beginning of time; PATERNAL GRANDMOTHER.
Sure, grandkids SHOULD respect their grandparents because that's what the norm states. Then again, nothing can be considered "Normal" these days so we'll just skip that part and head over to why I dislike her.
She is super cheena-pok and traditional.
I'm fine with tradition. Especially when it's accompanied with red packets, new clothes and dinners at expensive restaurants. Being traditional is one thing, being OVERLY-traditional is another. I don't know where she gets those wild ideas of hers from sometimes. Back when I was in Secondary School, I dreaded wearing skirts. I only owned 3 pairs back then.. and those were the ones I wore to school. So most of the time when I went to visit her on Sundays, I'd be decked in a simple top and jeans. And there was one occasion whereby I was eavesdropping a conversation she had with mum.
Paternal Grandma: I think Kim was supposed to be born a boy but came out as a girl.
Mum: Huh? What?
PG: Look at how she dresses! Always in pants and shorts... never wear skirts!
Mum: Aiyah, just let her wear whatever she feels comfortable in lah!
PG: It's either she was supposed to be a boy but came out as a girl or she was a man in her previous life.
I can't recall what mum said to her after that line involving my previous life. Ok, to be fair to the Paternal Grandmother, she came from an era whereby ladies wore dresses to impress the opposite sex. And to be even more fair-er, she didn't receive much education in her younger years, which is probably why she can come up with strange (there is really no other word that can be used here) logics about me having to own a penis but ended up with a vagina instead. For those who studied Biology at some point of their lives, it is clear that as a male foetus grows in the womb, his testicles will slowly descend from his pelvis region to where it's supposed be when they're born. I'm assuming when she said "supposed to be a boy", she meant I still have a pair of undescended balls lurking around somewhere within me.
Can't help but laugh. HAHAHAHAHA!
And wonder if what she said holds evidence to the manly mannerisms and love for football.
Golly!
She is gross.
Back in 1999, I spent the whole of my December holidays living with her at her place. Afterwhich, I never spent another night there. EVER. Six weeks of having to walk into the toilet and take in the wonderful stench of pungent pee (yes, she doesn't flush after herself!). And maybe it's because I'm used to living in an apartment where very few bugs are spotted because they're lazy to climb all the way to the 11th or 12th storey , so staying over at her Terrace house and watch her DO NOTHING as lizards mate on the walls of the living room turned me off. Heterosexual porn, OKAY! Lesbian porn, not too bad. Gay porn, maybe I'll just watch a little bit. LIZARD PORN, NO FRICKIN' WAY! Nope!
She CRAVES attention.
My nursing manager/lecturers have never failed to remind me over and over and over that old people want attention. Totally understandable if these old people in question are lying in bed with some chronic illness that's robbing them of their ability to live. Bring in the Paternal Grandmother and whatever I learnt from Geriatrics doesn't apply one bit.
Firstly, she's already the matriarch of the family. All her children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren respect her like crazy (with me being the exception). Because she has eight offsprings in total, she would be having brunch/shopping trips with a different family EVERY WEEKEND. I don't even go out on weekends as often as her. But sigh, along with good fortune comes GREED (for attention in this case). One fine sunday afternoon after returning home from a shopping spree at Tampines Mall, dad received a call from one of his brothers that Paternal Grandmother was nowhere to be found. Two uncles have been buzzing her mobile and residence number, but nobody answered. Being the filial and caring sons that they are (not that there's anything wrong with that), they called dad and asked if he was with her. So dad tried calling her a few times and his patience ran low.
"Where could she be?!"
"Aiyah, pick up the phone lah! Buy her a handphone and she doesn't answer it!"
He drove over to her place, pounded on her door with his fists (another reason why I'll never go to her place - which house doesn't have a door-bell?!) and she answered his endless knocking with a sheepish look and irritated tone, "What is it?"
When dad asked her why she wasn't answering the calls that he and his brothers gave her, she gave him this conceited and nonchalant look and proceeded on to say, "Cause I don't feel like answering the phone."
What the fuck?!
A 70++ year old woman using such an infantile method of drawing attention from her children?! How very mature! Worthy of being treated with whatever respect the paternal side of the family has been showering her with. *rolls eyes*
Busybody! And a superly-duperly busy one too!
Sometime last year, dad and I had this major face off. So major, I didn't exchange any words with him for a number of months. Not days, but MONTHS; which is quite a huge deal considering I've been labelled "Daddy's girl" by the man himself. The only means of communication was via SMS. Believe it or not, I could be in my room and him in the living room, and I'd SMS him "No money for the week. Gimme my allowance."
Call me a spoilt brat. And add the sound-effects of a tight slap to go along with it for good measure.
Dad told Paternal Grandmother about me not talking to him, yet still asking for money in such a crude manner. Paternal Grandmother got all self-righteous and told 1st Aunt who in turn told mum that I was disrespectful and not worthy of receiving anything from Dad. Her exact words were (after translating them from Cantonese to English): Her father tries to talk to her and she ignores him. Only know how to ask him for money. This kind of daughter you want or not?! Want to give her money or not?! Fair or not?!
KNN. All these words coming from an old woman who ignores phonecalls from her children to scare the fuck out of them.
And please lor, I bet your "favourite son" did not tell you why we had a face-off to begin with. You wanna talk about "fairness"? Hohoho! You're 100% without a doubt, the LAST homosapien on Earth i'd discuss that topic with.
******
Judgement - the ability to form an opinion OBJECTIVELY.
I may not be a staunch Christian, but hey, I do agree that the Supreme being whom I have neglected for close to a decade is the ONLY ONE that's allowed to judge me.
Not just any other God. But Him. No one else. Yeah, yeah, bring in the talk that I'm getting all fake and preachy but then again, he's the only God I ever knew. The only one I've worshipped wholeheartedly. So to hell (oops!) if I don't read the bible or pray daily. And screw you if you think I'm not worthy of His love. Whatever that's left of our very strained relationship now, it's for me and Him to mend. YOU'RE NOT INCLUDED IN THE PROCESS.
Back to what I was saying from the start of this post; I have been judged by many others on more occasions than my fingers and toes can count. Even people who're related to me by blood... wearing jeans means I'm not feminine and girls MUST be feminine because they're, well, girls. Unlike many of my cousins, I chose to enter a Polytechnic instead of JC. This equivalents to me being inferior to them (not that my cousins made such a mean comment, but some other relative did).
Evil, evil, EVILLLLLLLL!!!!
Honestly, I don't give a flying fuck what these relatives say about me behind my slender back. But, ouch! I have suffered multiple injuries to both my ankles, my right knee, my right shoulder and my lower back (all thanks to 7 years of Judo training) but none hurt as much as words being strewn my way by someone from the family.
Anyway, let's cut to the chase and get all the misconceptions about me cleared ONCE AND FOR ALL.
"Kim gets drunk quite often and sleep in public places like carparks"
Proud to say, I may not be able to hold my liquor, but I sure as hell haven't gotten drunk in this short 21 years of life. Know why? Cause I believe in responsible drinking (told you I hate irresponsibility). Ask anyone I've gone clubbing/pubbing with. Have I ever been so wasted to the extend that I can't stand on my own or remember who sent me home? And please, whenever I feel that there's a need for me to stop, I'D STOP. Moderation is the new sexy! So bollocks to the bugger that got this really lame rumour started - she (yes, it's a follow female!) obviously doesn't know the difference between tipsy and wasted. Tsk!
I sleep in CARPARKS?! Oh, for the love God! In case none of you know, I have my very own posturepedic bed in my stinky room (duh, I have a room too). Now why would I trade my room, comfy bed and airconditioner for a place where carbon monoxide reigns supreme?! Eh, if you wanna get a story plot about me being a part-time whore started, say something more BELIEVABLE can? Basket, sleep in carparks? THINK I SO FREE AH?!
sidenote: Just so you know, the other time we were drinking in your neighbourhood with Jovanna and Terence, I wasn't drunk. I remember every single detail of what happened that night. Yeah, Jov and I were lying down on the floor and that's probably where you drew the outlines of the picture portraying me "sleeping in public places". Truth be told, we were TRYING to fall asleep because you and terence decided to get horny under the full moon. He had his right hand inside your denim shorts and you were going "Ooohh, that's nasty.." Holy clams. The wonders of an orgasm. Anyhoo, the next day, Super Sumo sent me and SMS saying she heard from you that I was drunk that night. Woman, for the friggin' umpteenth time, I WASN'T DRUNK. How was I able to make my way home ON MY OWN if I were? Get your vocabulary and facts right man.
"She's a party animal"
Sure, I am. At parties, my hidden claws become loose. Kinda like sexy Wolverine. Woohoo! Let's parrrrtaaaayyy!!!
"She's a heavy smoker"
Believe me you, I smoke sticks that can weigh up to 5 pounds. Cause the satisfaction I get from the everyday Viceroy menthol light is insatiable.
"What do you wear when you go to the beach? HUH?! Bikini?! Eh, you not scared ah?"
Scared of WHAT? Sand going up my armpits?
C'mon, if I go to the beach, it's not to show off how much skin I have, but to get the great golden tan that drew me to the beach in the first place. If hormonal males can't quit staring, go lecture them about being rude! And if I don't wear a bikini, what do you suggest I wear then? One piece swimming costumes?! Hello, it's the year 2009. The last time I wore a one-piece suit was in 1996.
With religion put aside, I see nothing wrong with women who show off their assets. If you got it and don't flaunt it, might as well not own it in the first place. HOWEVER, it is different when it comes to women who own NOTHING but go the extraextraextra mile to look like they do. Push-up paddings?! Honey, if you're flat, deal with it. Having them elevated would only make them look unbalanced over time.
MY BREASTS ARE FAKE!
Back in those horrible lower Secondary School days, Kimmi was as deflated as can be. Cameron Diaz could stand beside me and look like she owned a 36-24-36. Not that hard a feat, considering my body statistics were 24-24-24 back when I was 13.
Fast forward two years to when I turned 15. I was in class, taking off my uniform and preparing for PE (everyone wore their t-shirts inside their uniforms) when one of my male classmates remarked, "Kimberly! Damn nice and big sia!". Hey, don't ask me when those suckers started blooming, I really do not know. So came about rumours that I stuffed tissue in my bra to enhance my chest, my parents let me have a boob job for my 15th birthday, my drank papaya milk three times a day, blah blah blah blah BLAHHH!!
In a world of science (proven science and not some cooked up one by the Paternal Grandmother), it's called Genetics. Mum owns a pair of 36Ds. It's only right if one of her daughters inherits it. As for my rear end getting noticeable, no surgery of any kind was involved. Just try being active during PE lessons and pick up sports which involve brute strength (read: Judo).
She sleeps around with whoever she wants.
The classical line that's used to turn heads and one's reputation around. I just found out Kim's a whore, she sleeps around, she only goes for guys who're good-looking, now you know why she dresses so provocatively, she's prolly a walking sac of herpes and syphillis, has she underwent an abortion, how many partners have she had, E-I-E-I-OH!!!
Three words: QUIT-BEING-DUMB.
If you're into what gossipmongers have to say, by all means, be stupid and believe them. Or, if you're gonna look at some of the pictures I've taken with the guys and create drama out of it. Go ahead.
Here are some snapshots to get you started:
Me getting chummy with DJ Inquisitive and his beatboxer friend
One of my random clubbing nights with Wacko and Marco.
Me with fellow Liverpool FC fans
Me feeding a long-time friend "the fuit of Love" dipped in Mango mousse
It happened during a Primary School gathering last year
After those photos were taken, I'd stuff those unlucky boys in my satchel and make them spend the night with me! If they dare disobey me, out comes the hand-cuffs and whip. YEE-HAH!
Of course, the malicious stories don't just end here. There are plenty more about me being lesbian and having a sugar daddy. I'm just too malas to continue typing. I can never be a crowd pleaser - have never been one to begin with. If I get too close to girls, I'm lesbian. If I get touchy with guys, I'm a slut. SO WHAT AM I TO DO? Roam the african forests with the deers? Gosh, folks! make up your mind!
With that, I'm done being nice to people who CLEARLY don't appreciate it. I'm done being fake, I'm done! Two nights ago, I was partying at Fort Canning with the awesome Lady Gaga and you know what that bitch said?
"Don't ever stop following your dreams. Always be yourself. If anyone out there tells you that you're wrong, tell them that Lady Gaga says to Fuck Off."
Whatever you say, milady.
Current Mood: aggravated
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July 31st, 2009
11:11 am - Glory to the Reds
As some of you might have already known, I was one of the 45,000 crazy Liverpool fans present at the National Stadium on 26th July to watch the Reds play against the Singapore National team. My, my.. the thought of being SO CLOSE to my idols *sigh*
Torres was IS a dream. He was standing less than 5 metres away from me before he came onto the pitch to play for the second half! Omg, I could've just passed out on the spot but decided against the idea because I wanted to see him score (which he did - YAY!).
Albert Riera, Dirk Kuyt, Pepe Reina and Jay Spearing were amongst the few who came within touching distance. Zehong and I chose to be seated at the right spot. Not only did we have 4 goals being scored at our half of the field, we could see the players do their warm-ups before they went on to substitute their team-mates :D
Xabi Alonso (the much talked about Spaniard who supposedly wants to leave the Kop for Real Madrid) was doing his usual stretchings when I yelled, "XABI, DON'T GO! STAY!". He bloody turned around, looked at me and GAVE ME THE THUMBS-UP! It was then that I experienced what it was like to be "star-strucked". Right now, I'm just hoping he'll stay for another season. It's been almost 20 years since Liverpool last lifted the League Cup; this season is definately DO OR DIE.
Speaking of the League Cup, the way the Emcees introduced both teams onto the pitch was uber CLASSIC.
"Ladies & gentlemen, welcome to the match between Liverpool FC; 18 time League Cup winners and the Singapore National Team; 3 time Tiger Cup winners!"
Zehong and I arched an eyebrow each and proceeded to cover our faces with our scarves. TIGER CUP?! I got nothing to say. Yeah, call me un-patriotic and say that I pick Club over Country... WHATEVER. I'm not letting the National Team down because they were never really "up there" to begin with. Oh, I also have no idea why Noh Alam Shah was making SUCH an issue over the fans not cheering for the Lions. Please lah, we all paid $88 to watch the English Club in action, not you! So get over it already, they're good and you're not. Stop all the "it would have boosted our morales if the fans had cheered for us instead of Liverpool" excuses. So what, if we're gonna sing our lungs out for you, you're gonna thrash Carragher and his men 2-0?!
Yeap, I'm sure you will. With all your on-pitch nonsense, I'd suggest attitude adjustments before you start blaming the fans for your loss. You were all playing against a team without their Captain! If he were present, you'd be down 8-0 (I'm assuming he'll score a hat-trick)!
As for the multiple feedbacks regarding disappointments that "Majulah Singapura" wasn't played that day, QUIT BEING SORE-LOSERS. The opponent wins and instead of being gracious, these idiots are finding other avenues to channel their frustrations. Eh, we can play/sing the National Anthem for 4 hours straight and you guys will still lose lah! It'll make life easier for ALL OF US if you'd just admit that our local players are just NOT UP TO STANDARD. Don't EVER blame the fans for your inability to score. At the end of the day, it's a FRIENDLY match! Why take things so seriously? Was it because 45.000 of us were singing "You'll never walk alone" and the Liverpool players' chants? Aawww, well until you guys compose your own chants and club song, we'll stick to the ones Liverpool FC has to offer :)
The match was awesome, no doubt about it. But what turned me off was the reports on the papers the next day. Along with the highlights of the match, came comments that the Lions were left to "walk alone" and our darling NAS feeling "disappointed" that the fans were trying to convert the National Stadium into Anfield. Shut the fuck up lah!
No wonder the Minister Mentor wrote in his memorial; "A gracious Singapore? Not in my lifetime".
Suck it up, Noh Alam Shah. We didn't come to see you play.
Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: Miss Independent - Neyo
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July 4th, 2009
06:34 pm - Superheroes
Sometimes, I look at my mother and wonder how she does it.
She's not exactly the strongest woman (physically) around, but somehow or rather, she's ALWAYS able to pull through life's obstacles. She'd just go out with her friends, watch her Korean dramas, go grocery shopping and go about her daily routines as though nothing went wrong. She pulls it off so well, NOBODY can even tell she's going through so much unless she chooses to voice it out.
Unlike this daughter of hers.
Mum, how do you do it? With so much ease and strength... I pale in comparison to you.
How are you able to just throw all your troubles away? I need to know. You don't turn to loud music, alcohol or cigarettes. And I tried not to be so dependent on those three factors; went to the pool for a few laps, started running again... it all failed. My timing for the uphill run increased by so much, I knocked my watch against the pavement to see if it was still working. Loser!
I can't go back for Judo anymore... Can't afford to get injured again. What other forms of "rehab" are available? Work? HAHAHAHA! If there was one thing I'd strike out of my life right now, it'll be my job. Fuck it. Hate working shifts! Hate being in the frontline. Hate having to wear a frickin' mask that's causing so many breakouts on my effing face.
Soccer.
My beautiful game. I've lost contact with ALL my team-mates; along with my skills in passing, dribbling & tackling. No more shouting, 'Oi, ref! No foul ah?!".
Mum, I'm sorry you have to see me so dejected the past few days. I know I'm indirectly hurting you with my moods and reluctance to open up. But it's something nobody can help me with. It's something I gotta fix on my own. I am trying to get back up, though it's really hard, I am doing all that's within my means to bloody stand up again. You can't see it, my friends can't see it... slowly but surely, I'll be back again. Just gimme time.
I know there are people out there who care. And I am thankful for having them in my life :)
Don't worry, peeps. I'll be ok; as always.
I may be an adult now. But my world is different from all others; in my world, people wear their underpants on the outside. Cause my world is full of superheroes. My mum is one of them :D
Current Mood: grateful
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May 24th, 2009
08:43 pm - Mother Dogs!
Many a time, I feel that Singaporeans need to be slapped silly.
Not any simple strike to the face, but a blow that would cause their brain cells (if they have any) to experience inertia.
Our hospital is bloody flooded with patients whose medical fees are subsidised by the Government. Not that it's a bad thing though. But with the overwhelming number of patients who need to undergo surgery (be it elective or emergency), we sometimes run out of C/B2-Class beds and have to temporarily lodge some "lucky" subsidised class patients in a B1 room.
We're fine with that.
But what we're not fine with is, these non-paying class nitwits EXPECT to be treated like royalty JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE IN THE SAME ROOM AS THE PAYING-CLASS.
Damn lame can?! You should be thanking frickin' orion's belt that despite paying a minimal fee, you get to stay in an air-conditioned room WITH A PERSONAL LAVATORY. Yes, you DO NOT have to wake up at ungodly hours just to avoid the LONG QUEUE that's waiting to use the common toilet at the bloody ward corridoor.
Also, in case you're too blind to notice, THERE'S A TELEVISION in front of your bed for your usage. Do the other patients who get subsidies from the government get to enjoy such priviledges?
It gets so annoying when the actual B1-Class patients get tea-break snacks served and a C-Class patient's RELATIVE demands that the patient gets a share too.
HARLOW, MA'AM! Those who receive snacks are fucking PAYING GOOD MONEY FOR IT. You want curry puff and milo is it?! UPGRADE TO B1 CLASS LAR! Or better, transfer to Private Hospital. Over there, not only will you get tea-breaks, but your doctors are all SENIOR CONSULTANTS; no medical officers, no house officers. Not even the registrars get to go there. ONLY CONSULTANTS. And you'll probably even have the Ward Sister sucking up to you ("Oh, you look so good today! Did you do something to your hair?")
Knn.
I doubt a slap is enough. Such people need to be gang-banged.
They need to realise that they're already fortunate enough to receive subsidies for medical treatments; but apparently, it's not good enough for them. They have strong thoughts of grandiose that they belong to the royal Monarche. *rolls eyes*
C'mon lah, it's not that I'm looking down on C/B2-Class patients, but BE REALISTIC lah! You receive what you pay for! Nothing comes for free in this world and instead of being grateful that you got yourself a B1 bed, you're fucking being a nuisance by asking for things which you're not entitled for!
And don't even think about using the excuse that "you're not well, and need to be given into". I'LL BITCH-PUNCH YOU TILL YOUR SOCKETS LOSE THEIR ABILITY TO SUSTAIN YOUR EYEBALLS. You're ill, I know. Duh! And we're doing ALL THAT WE CAN to help you recover. You're in a nice room, with proper toilet facilities and a ~!@#$%^& television set to help you kill boredom. Now you're kicking up a fuss that we're not treating you like a B1-Class patient.
Excuse me, you're really NOT a B1-Class patient lor. Kao peh so much for what?!
Say our service no good. Fine! Go to a less developed country and get hospitalised there! Compare our hospital condition & nurses here with those over there. SEE WHETHER WE'RE GOOD OR NOT.
KNNBCCB
We let you take an inch, and you bloody run a mile. A little too unreasonable to even deserve the attention of us professionals, eh?
The smelly relative still can WRITE LETTER OF COMPLAINT TO THE DIRECTOR LEH! Say what, they were not treated the way other B1 patients were treated lah, never receive tea-break lah, nurses talk to them without any eye-contact lah etc.
CHEYYYY-BAHHHHH!!!
Don't accuse the nurses of not being competent. You're the ones who're asking for too much. Super shameless/thick-skinned seh! Wah, this letter that got sent to the poor Director can be made JOKE OF THE YEAR sia! Pay so little but ask for so much. Logical or not?!! Lan jiao lah!
Sucks to be in the frontline sometimes. Haiz, dealing with such RETARDS make me feel so dumb myself. Omg.
Dearest Singaporeans, I know most of you have lived good lives and yearn for many good things. But don't take it for granted that just because you didn't grow up in poverty, you deserve to be treated as royalty. No, it doesn't work that way. You want to be treated as a VIP, you fork out the money for it. It's just like taking flights overseas. You don't get a luxurious armchair to sit on UNLESS you pay for either Business or First Class seats. Please people, BE REASONABLE.
Dearest Singapore, do you know why so many local nurses are migrating? Well, now you do.
Current Mood: angry
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May 1st, 2009
09:39 am - Son of a Swine!
I am so angry, this blogpost is gonna be LONG! And possibly, OFFENSIVE! But I don't care if anyone reading gets offended... cause I was already offended BIG TIME last night when I was at the lift lobby of my ward!
First up, FUCK SWINE FLU!
For the whole of 9 hours yesterday, I was forced to don a Drager's mask. It was suffocating, it was uncomfortable and it made all healthcare professionals look like platypuses. NOT FUN. NOT ENJOYABLE, AND VERY TORTURING. So, FUCK SWINE FLU.
My darling ward was sending patients off to other wards for the whole of yesterday because (I think) it's gonna become a temporary isolation ward for suspect cases in Singapore. Yeah yeah, my ward, the first ward in SGH to be dealt with any pandemics and mass casualties (you heard me right. whenever something unfortunate strikes, my ward WILL be the first to accept cases irregardless of whether or not we have enough manpower or beds. we are so HEROIC, don't you think?). Right now, the possibility of me getting deployed to SOMEWHERE ELSE is sky-high until this bloody virus decides to tame down (please let it be SOON!).
Today, I'm supposed to be on PM shift. But I was asked by Suzanne to claim PH for today and subsequently, it'll be a day-by-day affair. Meaning, I'll just stay home and if they need help, they'll call me and I'll head over to the hospital. Sorta like a Nurse who's on-call. How "cool" is that? Well, the ward is taking measures to reduce the number of staff on duty because 1) ALMOST ALL our patients have been sent down & 2) to reduce the risk of us getting in contact with suspected cases. All this happening during my FIRST MONTH of work. Bravo, seriously (not).
FUCK YOU, H1N1.
Shift started for me at 1pm on Thursday. We were still lingering on YELLOW ALERT. When I came back from dinner and checked the Intranet, WHO has issued a state of ORANGE ALERT. That's very close to RED ALERT (which would mean schools gotta close down, public functions called off, blah blah blah). If it ever reaches CODE BLACK... just pray and hope your beloved Gods come down from wherever they are and carry you along with them lah, hor?
Before anyone misunderstands all that I've typed, I just gotta make it clear that I'm NOT angry with the ward or my colleagues or that my ward is the Superman ward of the hospital. I'm just pissed off at the situation; starting work recently, just collected my first pay-slip, haven't had much hands-on and this damned disease strikes. To me, it's plain sabotage! As childish as it sounds, I DON'T CARE! The virus is out to sabotage me!
Now let's move onto something else; related to the current health crisis too, only this time I'm gonna offend people and I don't bloody care if they get offended because I GOT OFFENDED FIRST.
Softie was in the staff toilet packing her locker (it was already after 10pm and the both of us were still around - imagine how busy we were THE WHOLE SHIFT) so I stood by the corner of the lift lobby and this family of a certain racial group were having a discussion about the Swine flu.
They saw me and I bet the last dollar in my pocket they thought that I was one of them, so they spoke with ALOT OF EASE in their Mother Tongue...
The mother: See lah, all this people eat pork and cause this nonsense flu to occur.
The daughter: Yah lah! Don't eat can already right?! eat some more lah, now got pig flu already, happy lah? Just don't eat and none of this would have happened!
WAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
I understand they were upset they got chased away by security cause now, every patient is only allowed to have 2 visitors per day. But is there a need for them to be so vicious with their words? So can I blatantly say that they were pointing their fingers at racial groups that consume PORK? Oh, so for this glomal soon-to-be-pandemic, they are the "cleanest" of all and should not be blamed for it because they don't CANNOT eat pork?
Excuse me, in case you're unaware, Swine flu is not caused or started by humans who eat pork. Don't you ever READ? Swine flu is a type of virus which is named for a virus that pigs can get. How do humans eventually get it? Thing is, this virus is CONTAGIOUS and spreads from animals to homosapiens, EVEN THOUGH A PERSON DOES NOT EAT PORK. Meaning, you can avoid and refrain from eating pork your whole life but you're still susceptible to contracting this disease, dumbass.
I'm Peranakan and I love my Babi Ponteh, so am I one of the leading causes of the disease?
To you people, pork is disgusting. To the rest of the world, pork is near paradise. It tastes heavenly, I swear. As the saying goes, one man's meal is another man's poison. It's fine if y'all find eating pigs repulsive (yay! I get a bigger share of Bak kwa & more bak chor on my bak chor mee), but please, at the end of the day, you're biased.
Cannot eat pork so pork = SUPER DISGUSTING.
Never eaten pork before so = you're to be exempted from the blame of the virus.
Ok lor, the rest of the world at fault lor. Remember Mad Cow disease? Remember Avian flu? I don't recall you bad-mouthing others for beginning the whole saga... why ah?
OOOHHHHH!!! Because you eat beef and chicken. Now that you don't eat pork, can anyhow blame lor, can anyhow defame and point fingers lor. Smart!
PLEASE LAH! Wake up and quit contemplating who to put the blame on. We're ALL in danger of contracting the virus. So instead of wasting time, accusing others of causing it, why not help figure out ways to PREVENT THE VIRUS FROM FURTHER SPREADING? Why not start learning to do the 7-step handwashing technique? If you haven't realised, putting the blame on others and declaring yourself the innocent party of this unforeseen circumstance, IT'S NOT HELPING. In such situations, there are NO good or bad guys. So seriously, STOP thinking that you're damsels in distress and others are out to put you down.
I'm innocent too. So is my family, my colleagues, my friends etc.
Mexico and USA are the first countries to be hit. I didn't blame the Westerners. Not because both them and I eat the same kinds of food, but would blaming them make me feel any better? Will bringing them down make the disease go away? Think about it and do some soul searching. And while you're at it, read up on Swine flu. It states NOWHERE that eating pork would cause one to get the virus. Having said that, enough of such judgemental and racist perceptions. The Buddhists and Hindus blamed no one for Mad Cow Disease and the vegans blamed nobody when all three influenza-related diseases striked. So why must you start the blame game?
For the love of Mankind and our individual Gods, STOP JUDGEMENT.
p/s: I know I mentioned that I'm not gonna care if anyone gets infuriated reading this, but I thought about my Muslim relatives and friends and I think it's better that I make it all clear here. In regards to the above post, I was specifically referring to the mother and daughter whom I bumped into at the hospital. It was tactless of them to make such baseless accusations and I was using them as examples on how "blind" some people are to the crisis. If you're offended by what i typed about them, it's ok. Cause I've been long offended too (welcome to the club)and I did alot of thinking on whether or not I should write on something so sensitive. I decided I should. However, my intensions were purely to clarify matters and not aggravate the problem. So if you're angry with me or feel that I'm defaming Muslims, it's your choice to make. I'm not apologising (did they apologise?) and I'm not gonna persuade anyone to forgive me (what's there to forgive?). All I can say is, if you're really my friend, you'll know for a fact that this blogpost isn't meant to trigger any racial animosity. If you choose to disown me as a friend, it's your decision and I'll follow suit :)
Current Mood: disappointed
Current Music: Dance Floor Anthem - Good Charlotte
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